He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
