idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
