shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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