A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
