Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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