I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
