the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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