I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
