Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
