Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize