oh god the rape fog is back!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i out mim tonsoeep
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
