She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize