Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
