Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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