Can Purell be used as lube?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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