Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize