we have officially lost it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
