he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
