The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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