just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
