also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
