So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize