You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
