Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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