I'm really into asian looking animals
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize