I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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