At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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