I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
