People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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