but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
