I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
