I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize