I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He did a backflip because drugs
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