so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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