...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize