What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
