I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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