dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
