Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
