She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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