we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
