Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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