Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
