They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
