i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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