Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
