YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
