So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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