He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
