I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
