i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
