Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
