whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
