I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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