you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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