I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize