I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you inspire me to be a worse person
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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