Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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