This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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