i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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