You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
