Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
