addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
