My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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